This past Sunday at church, we had a guest speaker-and he was AMAZING!  The service was titled "Storm Chasers".  The service in a nutshell..."OUR GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANY PROBLEM WE FACE".  He also referred to Francis Chan's "Crazy Love".  An amazing book, I might add.  During the service, we were faced with the question, "when we pray God's will for us, do we really want it?"  The example given was, "we have all prayed the following prayer...Lord, we pray for safety as we travel.  We ask that no one gets hurt on this trip.  Please keep everyone safe until we return, and bring us back safely."   "Would we be willing to pray this prayer?  God, bring me closer to you during this trip, whatever it takes....."
 (This from pg.133 in "Crazy Love". )   I know, that for me personally, I pray for God's will, and I pray that I am open the listen for Him and to hear Him.....but when it comes down to it, do I really mean it?  I know that I pray for safety for my family every day.  I pray that we will be a blessing to someone else every day.  But at what cost?  I know I am not ready to pray, "God bring me closer to you, whatever it takes....."   I am not ready to lose someone I love, I'm not ready die for the sake of someone else.   "People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with safety and comfort above all else.  Obsessed people care more about the kingdom coming to this earth  than their own lives being shielded from pain of distress." (pg. 133 again).  I am not obsessed.  I WANT to be obsessed.  I want to have the sole purpose of glorifying God.  But I am so not there.  My wanting to be there, isn't good enough!  It seems like such an easy concept....knowing that God is BIGGER than ANYTHING that we face.  I want to have a life free from worry, and I want to be care-free, knowing that MY GOD is going to take care of me.   What's holding me back?  It's awful to say, but it is easier to pray for safety and to be a blessing to others...than to pray, God whatever you bring to me, I'm ok with, because YOU are bigger than anything.
We sang a song at church Sunday, and the lyrics are: "there's a peace I've come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail, there's an anchor for my soul, I can say, It Is Well, Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed, the victory is won, and He is risen from the dead, and I will rise, when He calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain."   So, although I may not be at an obsessed stage yet, I am on my way there....I am closer to being obsessed than I have ever been before.  I'm thankful for this.  Like I've said
before....Rome wasn't built in a day.  :)
I am continuing to ask for hugs if you see me out.....I am getting better at this, husband tells me!  Also, pray for me...I want to be obsessed and take everything that comes along with it!  I want to have a daily prayer life.  This is something that I struggle with....you know....with me being so busy and all ( Yes, I just hear God scoff at me, too!).  So, these 2 things.....pray for me,and hug me! 
Just wanted to give a shout out to all of my girlfriends!  There is NOTHING better than a weekend away with true, Christian friends and having Christian girlfriends to share things with, and pray with....absolutely priceless!
HIRTRITER....out!~