A love like Hannah's......

It's funny how events transpire, how something can come full circle.  I love when this happens and we are able to realize that it has happened, and I love being one that can stand after "the circle is complete" with my head held high and with no regrets.  I want to say to anyone reading this that, I love my family.  I love my husband, and my precious girls more than life itself.  And right now, I am so, SO filled with love for my precious 9 year old, words cannot even describe.  I have often wandered "why is she so immature" or "when in the world will she start thinking inside the box, instead of going straight to the outside of the box?"  It has finally hit me, a few moments ago, that our Hannah Hirtriter is exactly who MY GOD wants her to be.  
For those of  you that really know us, you would know that there have been certain incidents that took place, starting in 3rd grade and leading into 4th grade, with a major "blow-up" the second week of Hannah's 4th grade year.  It has involved a certain family and with the exception of the previous sentence, I will not speak on this matter further, or speak on this matter ever again, unless there is Glorification to the Lord in store.   It has also, been brought to my attention, at this very moment, that I have given this matter to much of my attention.  WOW....way too much attention has been put on this matter, I hear you, LORD....I HEAR YOU!!!!
This has been an extremely difficult year for Han.  Throughout this year, our prayer has been that God would remove people from Han's life that are not good for her, or that would not bring glory to him. Every morning we pray with the girls before school, and every morning we pray for Han to be filled with kindness and love for others, even those not friendly with her or those she doesn't see eye to eye with.  Hannah has done amazing with this task.  I have never been more sure that if Han were any other way, the outcome to this year would be so different.  My naive, immature, outside of the box thinking, precious, wonderful, forgiving, kind, loving, gentle, and grace-full Han is exactly who she is because MY GOD made her that way.  Never will you meet a more special girl....I am convinced.  And up until now, I have not appreciated the first 3 things I used to describe her.  Those aren't her issues, they are mine....YES I HEAR YOU LORD.....LOUD AND CLEAR.......
So, I am going to continue to pray for love to overwhelm me, a love to pour out on others.   I am so convicted and burdened for this.  I want to be full of love and grace to others.  GOD I pray that you pour these out to me.....Help me to give unto others as YOU have given to me.......
As you all know, I've been reading Crazy Love and there is a passage in this book that tells you to refer to the "love scripture"....you know, "love is gentle, love is kind, it is patient..."  The author of this book challenges us to put our name in where the word love is, or where love is referred to.   So, in other words, that same scripture would read, Caryn is gentle, Caryn is kind, Caryn is patient, she does not boast......."and so on.  I want to be able to put my name in scripture and feel good about the passage.  I didn't feel a warm fuzzy feeling when I put my name into this scripture, I think what I felt would best be described as nausea and guilt.I am thankful that MY GOD is making changes in me, very slowly.   MY GOD is laying things on my heart that I have never before felt.  I feel so passionate about hurting hearts.  My soul has been so burdened with those that are hurting and those that may not see or feel there self worth.  UUGGGHHH....thinking about some precious people right now, brings me to tears. I would love to be full of the same qualities as my 9 year old....ALL OF THEM!   I want to be full of a love like Hannah's.  A pure and innocent, forgiving and grace-full love!
Some updates/out of my box moments brought to you from me, courtesy of MY GOD:
~ I introduced myself to someone who has been visiting our church on Saturday.....I actually went up to her and introduced myself....even husband noticed this was a big accomplishment!  (no, there was no hug that transpired)
~ I am being overwhelmed with a need to be frugal.....a huge conviction!  This has to be from God......
~ not sure why, but adaption has been heavy on my heart lately....guess I should talk to husband....good thing he reads the blog....
~I am so in love with my precious girls and girlfriends.....straight from God comes friendship....I am convinced!
~definitely doing a 5K in October, I need to register
~ still getting ready to train.....I've said it before and I'll say it again..."Rome wasn't built in a day"
~I'm back hard core on the healthy eating......yeah, I fell off for a few days.....it happens....
~my new favorite quote, " It's the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge, and my job to LOVE"-Billy Graham
Hirtriter out......